Jan. 15th, 2014

What? 195

Jan. 15th, 2014 12:40 pm
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Abortion prevents child abuse.

What? 196

Jan. 15th, 2014 12:41 pm
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The Legends were finally called to order.

Arthur Pendragon spoke. "The first item on our agenda should be to arrange to find out whether someone is actually killing off Legends. The second should be what to do about it if so--"

The immediate resumption of the tumult of everyone shouting at once cut him off. Pecos Bill finally emptied one of his pistols into the ceiling.

As he reloaded in the resulting silence, six dead ninjas landed on the table.

After a moment, the Once and Future King said, "All right, item two..."

What? 197

Jan. 15th, 2014 12:41 pm
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Fog is the way we perceive the distortions of reality when alternate world-lines blur together. That fuzzy blob around the streetlight is actually the locus of where lights might otherwise have been located, for example. People who walk in fog don't end up in the exact same universe they started out in, but in the new universe the person you're supposed to be has a history, and your memory adjusts.

Not always completely.

And it doesn't have to be literal fog.

Some of the worst arguments you will ever have will be with someone you didn't have the original conversation with. That's why you remember it differently.

Most people think their memories get worse as they age. There is a certain amount of that. But it's mostly that your recollection corresponds to a universe you're not in anymore.

Most people can go on without believing it's happening.

Some people experience it worse than others. And remember it.

One of these poor bastards might have seen, e.g., two famous people, both of whose work he loved, at each other's funerals. (But Barry Manilow is alive again.)

(Yes, there's water vapor in fog. Of course it doesn't cause the opacity. Water's transparent.)

What? 198

Jan. 15th, 2014 12:42 pm
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"Cut!" the director yelled. He strode up to the little girl being menaced by the crazed killer. "You can't get by on cute all the time!" he screamed. "I want FEAR! FEAR! You get that?"

As the tears spilled down her face, the director took another breath, and a hand wrapped completely around his neck as the seven-foot killer, unfirable because he was the only one who could fit in the costume, picked him up, turned him around, held up a butcher's meat cleaver, and smiled with the ghastly teeth that were, in fact, his own.

Into the goggle-eyed director's face, he said, "This enough fear for you?"

What? 199

Jan. 15th, 2014 12:44 pm
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The boy's parents were interrupted by the wall being torn off the house. His mother dropped the yardstick. His father said, "But. You're. A myth."

"I prefer the term differently real," said the dragon.

What? 200

Jan. 15th, 2014 12:44 pm
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Etymological searches always seem to end up begging the question of how in the hell somebody first came up with a word. I'm with Mel Brooks' 2000-Year-Old Man: most words are originally onomatopoetic.

This would be why "cheese" sounds like it was named by someone whose teeth were stuck together.

What? 201

Jan. 15th, 2014 12:46 pm
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How many people besides me would like to see Quentin Tarantino do a remake combining FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF with FRIGHT NIGHT?

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